Chapter 4

I had morning sickness that lasted till night and always felt on the verge of retching. Drained by all the changes going on in my body, I slept fifteen hours a day. I was angry with Heavenly Father for ordaining women to suffer in pregnancy and childbirth. Men seemed to get away with everything. They had it so easy and got to hold the priesthood besides. It just wasn’t fair. To make matters worse, the thought of having to live throughout eternity vying with a dozen or more other wives for Scott’s affection did not improve my mood any.

I could only imagine (and often did) what it would be like to have Scott leave several nights a week to make love with his other wives. I’d been informed by one LDS Institute teacher[i] that when the scripture said there would be a “restitution of all things” during the millennial reign of Christ, it included plural marriage. As distasteful as plural marriage would be, I would just have to accept it or else face the fate Emma Smith was threatened with if she did not accept her husband Joseph’s additional wives;

And I command mine handmaid, Emma Smith, to abide and cleave unto my servant Joseph, and to none else. But if she will not abide this commandment she shall be destroyed, saith the Lord; for I am the Lord thy God, and will destroy her if she abide not in my law (Doctrine and Covenants 132:52).