Tracy Tennant

My Faith Story of Finding God

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Mar 272014
 

Everyone has a faith story to tell, regardless of your religious background. It could be you believed there was a God from as far back as you could remember. Maybe coming to faith was gradual, or maybe you had a defining moment that you distinctly remember. Perhaps events and circumstances in your life led you to believe that God doesn’t exist at all. Whatever the case, how you came to your conclusions is “your story.”

When I was a child I believed in God. I didn’t know much about hell and can’t say that I ever thought about it.  In my mind God lived in heaven, and when people died they went there to be with him. I never considered that beliefs mattered; all that mattered was being a good person and doing good things to and for others.

I was introduced to the concept that what people believed mattered by the Mormons. The missionaries (and later my LDS leaders) explained that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was the only true and living church upon the face of the earth and the only organization authorized to administer the “saving ordinances” of the gospel.

I was quite zealous in trying to convey that message to others as a new convert to Mormonism. I remember when I was about 15 and a door-to-door insurance saleswoman came to our home. Before my mom could tell her we didn’t need insurance, I invited her in, asked her what she knew about God, and then for the following 20 minutes or so shared my testimony of the Church with her. I told her how to get in contact with the missionaries and gave her our phone number in case she had any questions.

Years later when Ezra Taft Benson became the president of the Church, he gave a talk on the importance of making the Book of Mormon the cornerstone of our lives, and he urged members to spread the gospel by sharing the message with non-LDS family, friends, and neighbors. I took that to heart by buying a couple dozen paperback Books of Mormon, meticulously underlining key verses, and dispensing them out wherever I saw opportunity. For Christmas each one of my husband’s piano students got a plate of homemade cookies and a Book of Mormon. I even gave one to our mailman. I was nervous about the whole thing because I didn’t know how people would respond; but I wanted to do what was right and “follow the prophet.” Eventually, I began to focus most of my efforts on strengthening members of the Church, although it was in my heart to use my singing ability in the Christian community to bring people into Mormonism.

As you’ll see when you read my book, I didn’t successfully convert people to Mormonism; rather, I left the Church after 26 years as a devout believer. One of the things that the missionaries got right as they taught me the basic doctrines of Mormonism is that what a person believes matters. The LDS Church is either true or it is not. Either Joseph Smith was a prophet of God or he was not.

Mormonism, as it is called, must stand or fall on the story of Joseph Smith. He was either a prophet of God, divinely called, properly appointed and commissioned, or he was one of the biggest frauds this world has ever seen. There is no middle ground. If Joseph was a deceiver, who willfully attempted to mislead people, then he should be exposed, his claims should be refuted, and his doctrines shown to be false. (Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, Vol. 1, (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1956), 188-189)

My “faith story” is about how I discovered what the gospel is, and what it is not. It’s about my life as a Latter-day Saint and why I left the religion I so fervently believed to be true. Your experiences with Mormonism might be very different than mine. I’m not telling you what to believe or what not to believe; I’m just inviting you to let me share my story with you, and if you so choose after weighing the evidence and coming to your own conclusions, to take the journey from Kolob to Calvary.

Acknowledging the Good

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Mar 202014
 

Do you know people who complain all the time? Even when things are going well, they find something to fuss about. Food is either too hot or too cold, too salty or not salty enough. At church the sermon is either too enthusiastic or too boring, too long or not long enough. No matter what the situation is, they always see the glass as being half empty.

Conversely, and much rarer, are the people who always see the glass as half full. It doesn’t matter how badly things are going for them, they seem to find the good in everything. They lose their job? It’s “a blessing in disguise.” They break a leg? “Just glad it wasn’t both of them.” They seem to always have something positive to say even about those who hurt them.

There’s a man at church, John, who always see the glass as half full. Every time I see him he has a smile and a word of encouragement for everyone. He’s one of the first people to lend a helping hand or pray for someone in need of prayer. Recently I found out that he’s been living with pain from inoperable kidney stones for years. The stones are too deeply embedded to respond to lithotripsy, and because he’s diabetic, doctors are hesitant to perform surgery. When he was telling me this (and it was only because I asked) I cried. I cried because here was a godly man, suffering physically, and yet being more concerned about the needs of others than he was his own.

I know other men like John. There’s Scott, whose back pain from a couple slipped disks sometimes has him laid up for days at a time, but I’ve never seen him with a scowl on his face. He greets people as they arrive at church. When someone is moving, he’s there to help load and unload the U-Haul. Lucky (no one knows his real name. Guess he’s embarrassed) is another guy who everyone loves. He’s epileptic, so he doesn’t drive. Rides his bike everywhere. He’s almost 70. He’s survived cancer, pneumonia, and who knows what else, but he always has a hug, a handshake, a prayer, or a joke for each person who crosses his path. He mops all the floors at the church, cleans the bathrooms, and attends every single prayer meeting. He’s never late. Whatever needs doing, Lucky offers to clean up, fix up, or cheer up. In fact, no one else can keep up, because he’s so energetic.

These are the kind of people we can learn from. I’m sure you know people like John, Scott, and Lucky, as well as people who are bitter, hold grudges, and point out the negative everywhere they go.

When I first left Mormonism, I didn’t want to acknowledge any good things that came from being a member of the Church. Part of it was because I didn’t want to give credit to an organization that I believed taught a false gospel. I only wanted to credit God alone for every good thing that happened in my life. Now, don’t get me wrong.It’s not bad to want to give glory to God. The thing I had to eventually learn is that God can use many different situations and people to bring His goodness into our lives.

For example; God used Cyrus the Great, a pagan, to liberate the Jewish people and allow them to rebuild the Temple. Hiram, the King of Tyre, sent laborers and supplies to help Solomon build the Temple. We see many instances in the biblical record and since, where God has blessed His people through others, be they believers, non-believers, or pagans. Sometimes God heals people supernaturally by His power, and at other times he heals through medicine and physicians. In either case we can thank the Almighty for his provision and care.

I now look back with gratitude for all the Mormons in my life who taught me skills, helped us out in times of need, were good to my family, and who set great examples. I’ve been inspired by a lot of LDS men and women who were great parents, leaders, teachers, and friends. Just because I came to the conclusion that the religion of Mormonism is not reflective of the true gospel, doesn’t mean I cannot recognize the good that came from my affiliation with the Church and the Mormon people.

It’s important to point out error when necessary. Sometimes we have to speak out against falsehood, especially when it can bring harm. But we have to be careful that we don’t get out of balance, always focusing on the negative. It’s important to be known for what we stand for, as well as what we stand against.

Mormonism The Matrix and Me is now published!

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Mar 172014
 

Today is an exciting day for me. My account of raising and home-schooling ten children as a faithful Latter-day Saint, and then discovering the deceptions of the Mormon Church, is now available to whoever wants to read it. Sure, I’m excited to officially be “an author,” but that wasn’t my motivation for writing the book. I’ve always wanted to make a positive difference in the lives of others, encouraging them, touching their hearts in some way. Because of the internet and changes in the publishing industry, I’m able to reach more people than I ever could one-on-one.

Life is comprised of a series of significant events and our responses to them. Events have a great impact on us, but it’s the day to day details of our lives that shape us. Everyone has a story to tell; a story that others can learn from. We might think that we have nothing to offer, but that isn’t true. The seemingly simple things are often catalysts for big things. A kind word, a good deed, a smile, and a helping hand all make a difference. A friend of mine recently posted a quote on Facebook by Mr. Rogers;

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers; you will always find people who are helping.”

We live at a time when there is much uncertainty, confusion, and trouble. We hear of scary or horrible things on the news and get to the point where we don’t even want to turn on the radio or TV. It’s easy to get discouraged. But if we look carefully, we can also see great acts of heroism; ordinary people doing extraordinary things. You might not be able to write a book or become a motivational speaker. Your name might not ever be known outside your circle of family and friends. But there is One above who knows you by name and calls you to be His hands and feet.

You and I can be helpers. You and I can be the hands and feet of the God who cares. What’s your story? Are you willing to share it? You just might make a difference in someone’s life for having the courage to speak.

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